First bit of 2026

 

This year I am going to be less condescending ...

 

... that means talking down to people! Elsewhere a 62 year old woman had a massive heart attack and between collapsing and being brought round in hospital she had a near death experience where she met God. Is this it, am I dead God? Oh no you have another 24 years 10 months, 8 days and 11 hours according to my list. She decides to make the most of it and has a face lift, new boobs, liposuction, new hair weaves, botox the lot.

 

On the way out of the hospital ...

 

... she is hit by an ambulance and killed instantly. At the pearly gates she says to God: "I thought you said I had another 25 years to go" Ah yeah sorry says God - I didn't recognise you.

 

It's fair to say to say that Steve ...

 

... the boss of the biggest and best sawmill at Helmdon has in recent years been less obliging than pre covid. You could say he treats his small customers with contempt, rarely returning calls and months going by without a slot.

 

This isn't personal, though the business I've given him over the years is trivial compared to the big boys. It's a combination of being just too busy - they cut mountains of timber each year and the passage of time. When you've been in the game over 50 years apart from being heartily sick of punters you have other things like needing new hips and knees which make you in pain and grumpy.

 

I'm quite grumpy without ...

 

... being very busy and only as yet a slightly dodgy knee. Anyways, Steve has had a rebuild on knees and hips, newer equipment and got back on top of his to do list and game. I'd put a request in for some Sweet Chestnut and before I'd lost hope he had sourced and supplied - a very nice it is too - you can get nasty ring shake stuff that falls to bits but this is lush.

I took Tuesday Mike up for a ride as it was p - ing down all day - the quality of the boards bringing a bit of sunshine into our lives.

It was music to my arse ...

 

... to hear they had found a cure for dyslexia. I told my friend who was an agnostic, dyslexic insommiac who often lay awake at night wondering if there was a dog. On top of that I was delighted to get another call from Steve a week later to say he had some lovely brown Oak and did I want some?

 

I certainly did and the price was good so when he rang to say I'm cutting it in 20 minutes I jumped in the truck and whizzed up there. He wasn't exagerating it's as good as any I've had so will be heading back for more.

 

Inset picture shows the rich colour when the sun shone on it - you'll want some!

I thought I'd landed some more top Maple ...

 

... via my friend and wood associate Alistair who'd bought a variety of different stuff and made the mistake of letting me see it on facebook and be jealous. He was umming about buying a large flame figured Beech and on the understanding he's flog me some of his Maple I said I'd take some of the Beech.

 

In due course I went to his yard. The Beech was fine - colour ok but I have loads of Beech and the price was a lot more than I paid for mine. Also, the Maple was at best ok and wasn't talking to me. To be polite I took a couple of hundred quid's worth of both but it wasn't one to enthuse over, so no pics.

 

When one door shuts another ...

 

... opens as many crap furniture makers have learnt and shortly after my mate Erwin told me he had Oak, Apple, Sycamore and Chestnut for me so that took the must buy more stock pressure off. By then it was proper cold so the lure of the cabin fire was more appealing than building stock.

 

I'm often asked about sharpening the 13 foot long bandsaw blades. Well ok, I have never been asked in 25 years bit I'm going to tell you anyway. When I first started a company came each week and collected them from the kiln. This was very convenient but frankly exy and they didn't do a great job.

 

I started sending them to Wales ...

 

... to Stephen the blademaster who flogs them and he did a pretty good job but sending them was an expensive pain and the actual sharpening wasn't cheap either. So, when Ant built his own sawmill and used the same blades it wasn't long before he'd mastered the art of resharpening and the blades are as good if not better than new for at least 2 resharpenings.

 

Eventually, Thursday Dave built the boxes pictured below and I have a good rotation system. All went well until last summer when Ant crashed racing his motorbike and broke his wrist badly. On the plus side he'd the week before done a full set for me but I was running out when 6 months later he'd recovered from the injury and his massive backlog of to do things to get these done.

 

Me and Mike didn't linger in the snowstorm - get them off and the kettle on!

The woods sheds have always ...

 

... been short of light and almost dark on grey winter days. I used to joke, shall I put the lights on to punters and then say ... oh I forgot I haven't got any.

 

In 2017 I put some clear skylights in and though they let light in ever since the roof has leaked and it's proved impossible stopping all the leaks so that was a cock up. I settled on giving customers head torches which helps a bit but this year thanks to an advance in solar batteries and panels and mostly to Matt on a Sunday we now have some lights and I like them!

 

Well ok it's hardly a brightly lit TV studio but regulars will give the thumbs up ... incidently the book matched two small boards on the front are in fact Oak not Elm - clearly Mike after 10 years can't tell the difference!

Although the Maple recently purchased ...

 

... from Alistair described above is not great the log he put me on to a year or so ago is pretty much dry and I got a bit planed to see how good it was and it's a winner - rippled Maple is rarer than Walnut in my experience so will probably be priced the same.

 

If I were you I'd get over and grab some before it's all gone. I think my mate Andy will be getting some for his guitar sets.

 

 

Don't know if this does it for you but certainly does for me (and my bank manager) as as it's only the second such log I've had in 25 years flogging the stuff.

 

So, with winter receding ...

 

... and the lighter days arriving we are plodding on. How many more summers, who can tell? On the assumption that it will be at least one more, further renovations are planned including the trailer bed, the saw engine and of course we'll get more stock to sell you at outrageous prices if we don't like you and a bit of discount if we do!

 

Get yerself down there Tues, Thurs and Sundays between about 10 and early afternoon when we've had enough and slope off and give me all your or someone's dosh and we might get off our arses and source more stock!