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Last bit of 2025 into 2026
Getting stock has become harder ...
... there's a number of factors but hey why should you care - you just want something you can use at a sensible price so I'll skip through the searching etc and get to a coupla nice bits of oak from an old contact and friend Mike.
It's always been a good place to get timber as it's local and Mike has a decent loader to pop them on. In this instance we did a bit of bartering trading some iinteresting dry wide beech planks for a member of the family that owns the land. My favourite deals - everyone is happy.
I can never stock enough oak - it's so versatile that it is the best seller |
Smackers the helpful friend of the ...
... firm who swings by now and again reminded me recently of one of my favourite jokes I used to tell a lot 40 years ago but I expect is now illegal for offending people with speech impediments. It centred around a faith healer who went around areas putting on a show to packed arenas demonstrating how the power of prayer or positive thinking can cure any ill and asked for two volunteers from the audience.
The first made his way slowly to the stage on crutches and told the healer he was Brian and his legs didn't work. The second called Simon told the healer I have a terrible st st st stutter.
Ok, says the healer I will cure you both ...
... he then wails and waves his arms for a while and shouts: Brian, throw away your crutches & Simon talk to me.
After a clunk and a bit of a pause Simon says B B B Br Br Brian's fallen over.
So the pond is coming along ...
... fabulously, thank you for asking - despite an almost rain free summer. Mike cleverly set up a pipe gravity feeding it with rainwater from the tractor shed which kept it going. He also got hold of pond plants and other delights after the St Mary Bourne annual flower show where he was crowned not for the first time grand champion so he's pretty good ... at veg but luckily his other half Ann does the flowers and decorative stuff. |
At school my favourite lesson was ...
... PE - mostly because I had the biggest penis. I liked to walk around the changing rooms naked flicking my towel at other boys and laughing at their tiny cocks.
Looking back that was probably the reason I had to leave teaching!
I have made a few mistakes in the past - I promised my wife we would get married in a castle but then she complained about bouncing up and down during the vows. Then I gave a joiner £200 to make me a double bed but instead he did a bunk!
Something that has been very good ...
... was getting to know Anthony a successful business man (v interesting story that but not for here) who bought and transformed a house and grounds a mile from the Woods. The grounds hosted at one time a dozen mature elm trees that the dutch elm beetle missed for 40 years but eventually has started to suffer the same fate as thousands of other UK elm.
If you're a long term reader of my blogs and not yet in the nut house you'll have read about previous trees from here in 2019 and 2022. Well, happily for me and in due course you the fabulous collection below is coming my way.
Getting Erwin to move them takes a bit of time - I tried loading some by hand myself but nearly ruptured meself and happily my no 1 supplier did the honours & magiced them to the Woods. |
Planking them up was ...
... quite straightforward as they were manageable lengths and diameters though we badly missed Tuesday Dave. When there was the three of us cutting it was usually Mike on the saw and Dave in Doris the tractor moving the round logs and with big biggers using straps to reposition.
This gives me time to brush the sawdust off the newly sawn planks and get organised for transporting to where we stack drying timber. Without Dave, I'm doing two jobs and working harder than my knackered old body likes. It's a matter of time before either the aging bandsaw or me breaks terminally!
Tuesday Daveless hopefully ...
... just 'til the spring created a slot for Smackers of the above joke and lots of chatter. He's a country boy from nearby Hungerford so amongst his many skills is tractor driving. He also used to sell logs so has a bit of stamina using Doris's splitter.
I don't sell logs - too many regs now and to be honest effort for the return but they are a useful bartering tool for the many helpers including John. Leaving him to get Doris out and set it up meant we whizzed through more log rounds (already cut by him) and made a serious dent on the ash lying around and filled the store. ... With 3 of us on it ... me feeding John and Thursday Dave stacking the little pile pictured was soon split and put away to dry |
As we reduced the pile of Elm logs into ...
... sawn timber I was casting my eyes round for other stock. More next time but Steve at Hemldon sawmill has come up with some clean sweet chestnut and delicious brown oak both very popular with my regulars.
The elm we were cutting was rather pleasing too with no nasty beetles or serious shakes. Mostly 1.25 and 2" boards we've done a decent amount of book match & clean two straight edge boards and crotch pieces as below.
These disappear quite quickly when dry as they have a great figure - unlike me! |
Christmas came and went ...
...as it does and then another year started. Whether we'll all finish it, we'll have to see but fingers crossed eh! It would be good to see old faces or young beautiful female ones but we particularly favour visits from people with pockets stuffed with paper with purple pictures of Queen Elizabeth and King Charles's faces on.
More next time about the lovely brown oak and for the first time some lights in the sheds and of course terrible jokes.
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